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Posted 521 days ago

Conflicted


by Christine Pohl
Originally published in Justice in the ‘Burbs by Will and Lisa Samson. Used with permission.

I’m feeling conflicted, Lord. I like the safety and security of my life, my home, and my routine. Bigger visions attract me and scare me at the same time.

If I let you crack open my heart to feel injustice more deeply, and if I let you open my eyes to see human needs more personally, where will it stop? If I start thinking more about justice and let it affect how I use my resources, will anything about my life remain unchanged or unchallenged?

I want to be faithful. I want a vision for missions that’s as big as your heart and as wide as your kingdom. I want to love those you’ve befriended. But I’m not so sure about the specifics.

Could you help me open the doors of my heart and home a little wider? Could you teach me to respond to opportunities for ministry as gifts rather than as interruptions in my carefully scheduled day? I need more of your heart, Jesus, before I can give my time, resources, choices, and places to be used for your purposes.

I know I’m not alone in this. Help me with the power and wisdom of your Spirit and with the community of your people.

Dear God, I’m feeling conflicted—but I’m listening.

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